Detour to Paris
by Velasquez
Summary: What happens when Duo detours the crew from Paris, Texas to Paris, France?


AN: I don't own anything! I wrote this a long time ago and felt like putting it up.

Part I- A Duo Mistake

It was just another boring afternoon when Quatre's sister, Iria came with some news.

"I have just received word that there is going to be an international meeting on defense of all the nations in Paris, Texas tomorrow." Iria went on. "So I want you to get tickets there right away and make it to Texas by tomorrow mor –."

Not one Gundam pilot was left in the room at the words meeting and morning. And the ironic thing was; there was no ways out of the room except through the door in the back of Iria.

"Quatre!" Iria shouted.

Quatre had been sneaking his way out of the room. "Yeah?"

"Get the others back here, immediately! This is an important meeting and it is mandatory that they be present."

Quatre sighed. "Guys! Get back here! We have to go to this meeting."

There were many groans and the Gundam pilots finally gave in and climbed out of their hiding places.

Duo came out of a cabinet. Trowa came out of hiding behind a chair. Wufei came from behind the shelf.

Heero came from… the bathroom. "Did I miss anything?"

Everyone stared at him.

"This meeting is MANDATORY!"

There were groans and moans but there was a rush to pack the bags as each Gundam pilot fought to be finished packing first. There was a sacred rule in the Winner household that when traveling, the last person to finish packing was the one to travel to the traveling agency and reserve seats on a plane and get tickets.

"It should be hot in Texas this time of year, right?"

"Probably."

"Then we should probably pack for warm weather."

"Hey, Wu-man! What are you doing with my Super TX-3 skating board?" Duo smirked.

Wufei turned red. "Uh. Um. Of course I wouldn't bring a wimpy thing like that to an important meeting! It must have just _fallen_ into my suitcase."

There was a loud rip as Trowa and Heero fought for the same t-shirt and ripped it in half.

Heero stared at the half of the t-shirt in his hands and shrugged. "Whatever."

And surprisingly, Quatre was the first one to finish packing. "I'm done."

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at Quatre's small over-night bag.

"You've got to be kidding." Duo said.

There was another skirmish; that gave Duo a small black eye, as Trowa found Duo trying to sneak Tequila into his bag when he wasn't looking.

Quatre rolled his eyes at the insanity of it all, when Iria came back again.

"Aren't you finished packing yet?" Iria brought some other companions. "Unfortunately, I can't make it so these are my other representatives at the meeting and you will escort them."

Quatre's mouth worked but no sound came out.

Duo grinned.

Trowa smirked.

Wufei stood stone still.

Heero's jaw dropped open.

"D-d-dorothy?" Quatre finally croaked.

Duo grinned some more. "Hilde."

Trowa smiled. "Hey, sis."

"Sally." Wufei spat.

Heero couldn't say anything. His horror of Relena coming along was beyond words.

"Heero!" Relena ran toward him and hugged him.

"You _must_ to escort my representatives along." Iria informed them of the inevitable.

"Not in this lifetime." Wufei said.

But it didn't make any difference. The girls were coming anyways.

The surprising thing was, all the girls were packed but the boys weren't.

Then there was another skirmish as Heero tried to force Relena away, Trowa and Catherine were trying to keep the lions in control, Wufei kicked Sally, and Quatre tried to quit stammering.

Iria rolled her eyes at this new insanity.

Finally, they were finished packing and it was Duo who had to get the tickets.

Tick Tock…Tick Tock…Tick Tock…Tick Tock…Tick Tock

An hour passed. Two hours passed. Three hours passed. Four hours passed. Five hours pass –

"I'm back!"

"About time, Duo! And did you have to bring that woman with you?" Wufei rolled his eyes.

"Nobody asked your opinion, Wufie!"

Trowa grabbed the tickets from Duo and started to pass them out.

"We've got to hurry. We've only got a few minutes before the plane leaves." Sally said.

Everyone rushed to the door and ran for the van.

Unfortunately it was Duo that got to the wheel first, and he began to drive skipping lane by lane, just barely avoiding collision with other cars. Then he started driving with his feet and folded his arms Indian-style.

"DUO!!!"

Finally they made it to the airport and they rushed to get carts. While Trowa, Quatre, Dorothy, and Catherine fiddled with some change to get some carts, Heero, Wufei, Relena, and Sally went to the snack bar to get everyone snacks. Duo and Hilde were asked to find the right terminal to board the plane in. Finally, everyone settled down and boarded the plane through the terminal Duo and Hilde claimed was the way to Paris, Texas. Another amazing coincidence was that Heero sat next to Relena, Duo sat next to Hilde, Wufei sat next to Sally, Trowa sat next to Catherine, and Quatre sat next to Dorothy.

Eventually, everyone calmed down and began to talk rationally.

"How do you think the lions are doing, being gagged as they are by my bed sheets?"

"Get out of my lap, Relena."

"Isn't war just beautiful, Quatre?"

"Stay away, woman!"

"Let's get high!"

Hours passed.

"AHHH!!!" Wufei screamed bloody murder.

Duo snickered.

Some more hours passed.

"Who dyed my hair green?" Dorothy raged.

Hilde giggled.

Even more hours passed.

"Omae o'korosu."

Relena whimpered.

Finally… they landed.

"What a good nap." Duo yawned.

They all walked through the terminal into the airport and started toward customs when…

"Does Texas have French words as airport names?" Dorothy wondered.

"No, why?" Trowa asked.

Dorothy pointed. They all looked up and saw the name Charles Degaulle Airport.

"So?"

"Look next to it."

Bonjour! Welcome to Paris, France.

* * *

AN: Clearly written before the days of Expedia and the like. Everyone seems to be posting stories they wrote as kids so I thought I'd follow the bandwagon. Hope this was marginally enjoyable.


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